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I’m not much of a gardener, in spite of my last name. 

About the only thing I’ve been able to grow consistently is mold and that’s been purely by accident, though I’ve recently been growing less mold since I now know–I mean, since my wife reminds me–that food in the fridge will eventually have to be thrown away. 

Luckily, I do a little better in growing people, even though my contributions to the project aren’t as empirical as a sprinkle of water each day or a planting location that gets plenty of sunlight. My experience with growing people began in 2009. It’s when I met my wife online (before COVID made it cool!). When I asked/texted my wife and asked her for a date, her first response was “Are you sure?” 

This was probably mentioned because my current wife/then the attractive woman I wanted to have dinner with already had children. Fast forward to me getting married and suddenly becoming not just a father of three (ages 1, 2, and 9), but a father to a daughter.

I naturally thought of all the sitcoms and family shows I’d watch with a father/daughter dynamic and how that dynamic is built on a mutual lack of understanding that typically began with the daughter saying something like “You’re ruining my life,” the father responding simply with “you’re grounded,” and then the daughter runs off, followed by a door slam off-screen. I also had no sisters or nieces, meaning no pertinent interactions on which to draw. The father in all these shows with these contentious father/daughter dynamics always looked beleaguered, perhaps even horrified, at what his life had become. Fortunately, those television tropes about a father and daughter at odds are exaggerations. 

My daughter happens to be amazing (all parents say this about their kids, but mine actually is. Emphatically!). She’s had her own business, worked hard on all her Girl Scout cookie sales, and currently dances her heart out for her school’s Color Guard. She also loves animals, including her cat Gwendolyn. I have been blessed by meeting her when she was very young, watching her grow up into a smart and capable young woman, and getting the chance to get to know her along the way. She is currently a Senior in high school and will next year go on to college. It is a journey that she has been preparing for all her life. 

I have concerns, but it’s not because of anything she lacks. Like how a gardener must be wary of the soil, sun, and overall environment, I worry about where she will be growing, including the societal pressures of people who don’t know her telling her who and what she should be. I hope she knows that she doesn’t have to conform to those with unsolicited opinions. I hope she knows that she doesn’t have to accept the world as it is, but that she can work to make it what she wants it to be. I hope she knows that she is loved and that she has my support. I may not have been with her at the very beginning, but it has been a privilege to watch her grow from age 2 onward. 

While I am writing this message because National Daughters Day is on Wednesday, September 25, I am also writing this because I want her to know what she means to me, which is much more than the mold that once bloomed in my fridge. Growing mold signifies a lack of cleanliness on my part while (hopefully) helping her grow to her full potential shows that I’m a better father than a gardener. 

And here are some programs you could potentially spend with your daughter: 

• On Wednesday, September 25, at 2 p.m., the Kentucky Picture Show presents a 2023 drama featuring teens overcoming trauma with a coming-of-age adventure. Tragedy ignites these teens on a quest to find a legendary landmark hidden in the wilderness. Together, they navigate the adventure while confronting the darkness within themselves. Rated PG-13. Popcorn and snacks provided. 
• On Saturday, September 28, the library is having a Puzzle Swap! Drop off your old puzzles to the reference desk any time between now and September 26 — just swap your puzzle for a ticket, then return on September 28 from 1:00-4:00 p.m. to “shop” for a new-to-you puzzle.
• On Saturday, October 5, from 9 a.m. to 12 p.m., the library is giving people a chance to Shred It! In the Clark County Public Library parking lot. Do you have personal papers, receipts, or bills that need shredding? Shred-It of Lexington will be here with a truck in our parking lot to shred your papers; no 3-ring binders or plastic bags please. Clark County residents may shred up to 5 boxes (approximately 24X12X12) for free. This is offered through a community partnership with Community First Insurance Agency located at 103 N Main St