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By Candida Sullivan
It’s easy to speak of the good things. I don’t mind writing about my blessings and all the times when I’ve made good decisions. But it’s not always this way. At times I have made decisions that took me away from my calling and caused me so much grief. Those messy and heartbreaking times are what I want to write about today.
One of the darkest times of my life came about because of my disobedience. Like with Eve, the enemy gave me another decision contrary to what God had told me. And I believed his lies. Before I realized what was happening, I was miles away from where I wanted to be. The enemy didn’t take me by the hand and run in the other direction. He slowly veered me off the right path.
He led me to the path of destruction, and then he left me there.
With a broken heart and sin in between God and me, I sat on my porch each evening and cried. I felt alone, betrayed, and heartbroken. In the depths of my despair, God came each evening and sat with me. I could feel His presence. But I was mad at Him.
The enemy had me blaming God for my sins and wrong decisions. Even though I was mad at God, He didn’t stop loving me. He never let go of me nor gave up on me. But instead, He waited on me. When I was ready, He took me by the hand and helped me find my way back.
It didn’t happen overnight. In fact, it was a long and painful process and one I hope never to repeat. When I turned my heart back to God fully, however, He turned my heartaches into blessings.
Sweet friends, I would rather suffer my obedience any day over my disobedience. In my disobedience, God will sit with me. However, in my obedience, God will hold me on His lap and comfort me.
1 Peter 3:17 KJV
17 For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing.