Last week I shared a true story about how jealousy affected a daddy elephant.

At the end, I said I would try to research some of the whys and kinds of jealousy. Basically, what causes some humans or non-humans to succumb to feelings of jealousy and act in non-typical even violent ways?

Even babies get these feelings if all of the attention doesn’t go to them. What does he do? He screams bloody murder, “Take care of me!”

One day, when I was in fifth grade, I was practicing my gymnastic moves in the front yard. Up rode a boy from my class on his bike. He stopped and started trying to do moves I was doing.

It wasn’t long when another boy we both knew came by and joined us. The boys started competing with each other and almost immediately it got serious. Each one was jealous of the other and tried to out do him to impress me.

The lovely afternoon ended in a free-for-all fight. One of the boys got so frightened to escape he hurtled a five foot hedge bordering my lawn and sprained his ankle. This was all because of childhood jealousy.

Did you realize you can be jealous of the wrong thing?

In fourth grade, my special friend Deron told me a big secret. She said her parents were getting a divorce and she and her mom were moving to a fancy Atlanta hotel to live. I had seen that hotel and that was fancy living. My eyes lit up with envy.

Did I tell my friend I was sorry about the divorce and her dad moving out and so forth? Of course not. Divorce didn’t have much meaning to me and I was too young to ask why I felt so jealous of eating in a fancy dining room and having your room and your bed cleaned.

I learned the wrong life lesson.

So, what types of people are prone to jealousy?

One is to be too young to judge. Another type is one who suffers low self esteem. It is much harder to stand up for yourself when you don’t feel strong and worthy inside.

Any time you don’t feel as good as, as pretty as, as rich as, as popular as the object of your envy, you are right in line to feel sorry for yourself and who is or has what you want.

Let me tell you a story I watched firsthand.

My dad was born and raised in South Georgia in as poverty an environment as possible and he knew he wanted to do better.

He did much better.

By the time he was married and had children, he could afford to buy anything he wanted, and he wanted a red fancy Jaguar.

As long as I can remember, he always said he was going to buy that car soon.

But every time he bought a new car he bought a Buick sedan. Why?

No matter how he coveted that Jag, he never felt it was appropriate for him as a family man. Frankly, I do think my practical mother had something to do with his thinking.

So, was my daddy jealous of the Jag life style?

His early poverty made him incapable of giving it to himself. This is still another kind of jealousy.

Of course, extreme jealousy can lead to bodily harm or even death. I recall a true story of a man in Kentucky whose wife fell in love with another man while he served in the military.

The shock of it drove him to shoot the new man dead one drunken night. His life is in prison now.

Jealousy pushed him to do this even though normally he was a quiet, kind soul. This makes you realize the power of wanting something or someone at any price.

As I said last week, there is not a human alive who has not felt jealousy in one way or another.

It is a feeling so strong it can change your thinking and make you consider doing things you never would normally and it is almost never for the better.

So, how should we deal with it when that gnawing feeling haunts us and pushes us to ways of get even, even the score and quell the need to get what you want?

I do not believe we should try to get even. Rather, let’s take a good deep look at ourselves and ask some questions.

Ask yourself honestly why you want what you’re jealous about. Like the friend whose life changed and I thought it looked exciting and exotic. Really, did I covet a family divorce?

How often do you feel jealous? I knew a woman who stayed jealous, whether it be of another person or a nicer house. Five minutes with her told me why it was true. She never felt like she was smart or pretty or worthy to be a friend. I felt so sorry for her. Therapy helped her see this and how to help it.

What I found was no matter how much of your life is seeing yourself as not quite good enough that fact is in direct proportion to the time you spent feeling jealous.

Most of us are nicely modest and satisfied with ourselves. Feeling a little jealous about someone or something will pass over, and it won’t lead you to anything hurtful.

It is when you become obsessed with evening the score that your mind takes a left turn.

We are worthy of a good and happy life just the way we are.

So, jealousy is a powerful trait that makes us do and think undesirable things. We should write this on our heart: jealousy , don’t mess with it.

The view from the mountain is wondrous.

Jean Brody is a passionate animal lover and mother. She previously lived in Winchester, but now resides in Littleton, Colorado. Her column has appeared in the Sun for more than 25 years.