I’ve come to believe patience is a trait almost all of us want to develop.

If we are not patient, our life decisions will be hasty and impetuous.

The way one bears pain and life trials is based on whether or not we have developed this trait we call patience.

So, how do we develop it?

After much time looking into the answer, I believe I have found the path.

The first thing we have to learn is how to be quiet, to shut the door so we can get in touch with our inner voice.

I believe the next step is discovering your expectation.

Whatever the situation, you should try to understand what you want to happen and then quietly figure how best to reach that goal.

The third thing to consider is mindset.

Once you think through the issue at hand, set your resolve to stick to your decision.

Mindset suggests you have a positive attitude in the first place.

I think the hardest part of being a patient person is this business of expectation.

I expect way too much of myself.

When I was a teacher, my students had to teach me they all learned differently. Each one comes with personal challenges.

Not all the parents gave a hoot if their children did well in school. Many only stayed in school until they could legally get out of school and get a job.

When I really learned this my expectations were different for each child and my mindset was one of being safe and loving.

The only way to achieve this was to get to know each student and it meant I needed a lot of patience.

I gladly gave it.

A wonderfully-dedicated teacher and I discussed this business of patience in teaching. She teaches fourth grade where many of the students are Native American and come from poor homes.

My friend teaches math, and any one who has ever taught math knows it is the teacher’s job to explain the concepts one by one.

She knows many won’t understand no matter how many times she goes back over it again.

And because most of the parents don’t make school attendance a priority, many are absent often.

As she told me, “You can’t teach math starting with the simplest concept if you have to go over it time after time after time.”

Then she has some kids who want to learn in spite of the problems. So she must supply them with as much math knowledge as possible.

When I asked her how she did it, her answer was, “I value education for them and they know that I know their life situation and I love them dearly.”

In other words, this teacher adjusted her expectations and held to her mindset to having patience so she could help them.

I have seen examples of unbelievable patience while living in an assisted living facility.

A husband took full care of his wife he called Sweety. The problem was she had dementia that worsened regularly. Never did he come close to losing his desire to care for and love her. Everyone here was in awe of his patience.

I also talked with a therapist who worked mostly with wounded children of all ages and their troubled parents.

She said never once has she lost patience with a child acting out or even displaying serious behavior problems.

After we talked, she said, “That is because my expectations are appropriate for each client and my mindset is one of safety and healing.” And there it is.

I hope we all can find our path to patience.

I know I’m going to work on wanting things on my to do list done right now.

Waiting is hard for me so I have to start with being quiet, checking my expectations and accepting my mindset.

How about you?

The view from the mountain is wondrous.

Jean Brody is a passionate animal lover and mother. She previously lived in Winchester, but now resides in Littleton, Colorado. Her column has appeared in the Sun for more than 25 years.