By Jean Brody

Sun columnist

Do you remember my last column about my Christmas gifts for a friend here? The Broncos sweat shirt was too small, the lamp wouldn’t work and the numbers on the calendar were too small to read.

I was upset about all this so I exchanged the shirt for one bigger, a lamp that worked and a better calendar. Alas, that shirt was also too little. So last Sunday we got a third shirt, a SXXL. After supper here, we went to his apartment and I told him we were going to try it on right then and if this one did not fit, we would forget the whole deal until he went on a diet! And THAT is where my story really begins.

He stood and zipped himself easily into the shirt. It looked fine from the front but I wanted to see how it fit in the back. OK, so I turned him around and in doing so, he must have lost his balance. I grabbed him but it was too late. We both went down hard and hit the floor. Apparently as he tried to break my fall, he hit the wall, taking all the skin off the top of his right hand. Blood went everywhere (he takes a blood thinner).

Instantly, my head hit the wall behind us and I literally saw stars! One second later, all of his 217 pounds slammed on top of me at 114 pounds. We were both so stunned, we just sat there staring at each other.

Because of my back full of rods, screws and pins, I can tell you I was scared to move. God was with me. It was my head and eyesight that was affected but not my back. You know, I really am a tough cookie.

I managed to crawl to the cord to signal we needed help. Two RAs came, saw all his blood, etc., and immediately called the paramedics. They came pronto and checked us out. We did not want to go to the hospital so we did not go and put ourselves in the hands of the nurse here.

The longer he sat afterwards, the more he found he hurt pretty much everywhere. He bled all night and was wiped out by morning

For the next days, his bandages were changed several times daily and both of us were carefully monitored all week long. Now for the crazy part of this story.

In a place like this, rumors start easily and gossip is just a way to pass the time. By noon the day following the fall, the story was he and I had had a fight and fell down in the fight. We spent time assuring everyone there was no fight and  we both were against violence of any kind.

We breathed a sigh of relief, that is, until we heard the next rumor. It seemed we were having too good a time together — indulging in “intimate relations.” Once again but with more zest, we adamantly denied the reason for the fall. I guess, when we took the fun out of the fall, the whole thing was soon dropped around here. Unfortunitely, our bodies did not heal as soon as the rumors did.

It has been seven days since we fell and we both are still limping around looking puny and feeling awful. His meds have been changed and my eyes are getting more focused by the day.

Let me tell you one thing — I sure do hope he loves that blasted sweatshirt!

The view from the mountains is wondrous.